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Short Day Break.
Dec. 5th, 2002 03:20 pmIt's snowing, bad. Took me about an hour and 40 minutes to get to work. I'm out of vacation days, and I'm not sure about my sick days, so I didn't risk my job that way. Just...my life, instead. Sheesh, what's wrong with me? Don't answer that, any of you. I can only imagine the list some of you would have.
So, my boss is out, which greatly reduces my chance of getting out of here at all early, so I can go home and shovel and keep warm some other way. But, it's home, for however long I have it left. So, instead of logging into my LJ, since I can't from my desk, I opened a Notepad file, and might hammer down random thoughts as they strike me today, until I get out of here. I bet I cut-and-paste this at lunch, first, before I go home.
10:32 AM -
I talked to Carol, who is in charge when my boss isn't around. Of course, she says that in her 11 years here, this place has closed once. And, she says it with a smile, and a shake of her head, which just ticks me off even more. I'm so sick of the amusement people take in my worry or upset. The customers still call, the customers still whine. Though, she did say my boss would be in about 12:30, so I'm ready to ask/plead. And of course, Mom calls and says I should have stayed home. I know I had a sick day too many this year, and do not need to risk that.
11:15 AM -
A lull, for now. No one is really considering the idea that the building will close due to weather. At one point, I just said "I know that, you know that. Impress me. Tell the people who have the authority." But, I was met with silence, of course. But, I need to get out of here, for my own sanity's sake.
But, I keep trying to think of positive things to keep my mood afloat. One was an article I caught about comic books on one of the comic web sites this morning, before my shift. In the JLA (Justice LEague) comic book, there's a new team lineup after a recent huge storyline. The storyline itself was okay (as in, not 'knock my socks off unbelieveable') but they are adding one member to the team called Manitou Raven. It's a newly made character, but in the article the writer of the comic admitted that Manitou was a nod to Apache Chief, who used to be in all those cheesy-but-fun Superfriends cartoons in the 70s and 80s. And I'm smiling now. That's the coolest thing I've heard all week. Apache Chief (though I know they wouldn't call him that in the comics) was always my favorite. The character on the TV show and the one in the comics are different, though. They share some of the same ethnicity, and one power between them (Manitou is a mystic, I believe), but still, that's cool. Inukchuk. So /that's/ how it's spelled. Of course, This is going to be wierd, after seeing that Harvey Birdman episode with Apache Chief in it. Can't watch Superfriends without giggling. Just like I can't see anything with the Wonder Twins in it after the same Harvey Birdman ep, and a comic strip on Penny Arcade. Sheesh. We embrace our nostalgia and destroy it at the same time.
I think there are orders in the fax room that need to be marked and brought out for processing. And, I did it a few times earlier, but I have this feeling they're piling up, and no one is going back there for them. Mostly, I take the orders to the bins for anyone to grab, and end up getting frustrated and going to take the orders anyway. This bugs me, because I feel I have that much more weight on my shoulders.
11:47 AM -
Hey, if there's nothing out there to be done, then there's nothing much I can do, now is there? But, lucky me, there's a few new people who are on my side of the room, and any troubles they have with callers, they mostly bring to me. It's not bad, I think, because I used to do the same. But, I'd wait til others were off the phone, first. One of them, the new guy we have in our department, is cool, though. (Even if I'm not big on music by Phish, but there are some things that make me think, but I keep my distance for my own reasons.) Just once, I'd like to hear him say "Kyle, can you help me with this," and hear myself answer "I dunno. Is it worth a dinner in a nice restaraunt?" Well, I'm not blind, though I do believe he is not compatible, in the most basic sense. Frustrated? Duh, yes. I live in a world without curiousity, or change, or experimentation. It makes me feel retarded, still, on some mental and social levels which I hide my feelings about.
12:33 PM -
Well, we got news in the meantime. They're closing the building and sending everybody home at 2 O'clock. Ok, I feel much better. I don't know how long it will be til I get home, but it will be in (hopefully) daylight. Called the fam, and my Dad has to go into work. Didn't do any of the shovelling, so I get left with that much more.
Last night, I was online dealing with people, including some of the situation I mentioned in my last LJ post. I think I know how to handle, and I'm following my gut by saying it's a bad idea, all around, and 'No.' Though, I have this feeling it will start an arguement of 'But so-and-so said this, or 'But that's not what it looks like.' See, I wasn't having as much trouble finding a decent reason as much as I was wondering if I could keep my feelings in check. I'm resolving it tonight. My responsibility.
And, I was talking to someone last night, and talking about how rushed I was feeling. He suggested I get a drink, whatever I felt like having, even though he has a soft spot for sangria. Now, honestly? My parent's don't really drink, and I don't really think much about it to keep any booze stocked in the house. And, as I explained this, I found myself thinking 'God, I am so lame.' But...I'm not so sure it is, despite this friend's urging me to go and get some alcohol. I don't really think about it, and while I felt a drink would have felt really good at that point, it was odd. I mean, this was a want in a 'hey, that would be nice right about now' sort of way. As opposed to a need in the 'It must be mine!' sense, even if those are not quite the right words in my head thinking about it. It would have been nice, but I wasn't going to explode if I didn't have it. I have that much knowledge, I think, to differentiate between a wish and something necessary. Not that people who don't drink are wusses, not in the slightest. Everyone has their reasons, and that right to a conscious decision for themselves.
A few months back, I saw people on other LJs doing an 'Ask Me Anything' post. Where they invited viewers to ask them any question within acceptible taste limits, and they would get answered. I've been tempted to do the same thing, save for a couple of reasons.
Reason One: I'm leery of some of those questions.
Reason Two: I'm leery about speaking of some things publicly.
So, I'm going to modify it. You want to ask me something you've been wanting to ask, then do it. But, do it privately. Through page, e-mail, carrier pigeon, whatever. But I will be more than happy to answer in private.
I'm leaving this in bold type for a reason. I might write more before I leave here, and if I don't end the post with that, I want it to stand out.
1:15 PM -
I'm starting to realize that if I could have my LJ open at my desk, it would be a lot more packed with entries than it currently is. As per the time, I have 45 minutes left before I leave the building. Then there's cleaning off my car, warming it up, and praying to God I get home in one piece. I should be okay, as long as I stay focused. But, I'm going to close out the file now, and start packing up my stuff.
So, my boss is out, which greatly reduces my chance of getting out of here at all early, so I can go home and shovel and keep warm some other way. But, it's home, for however long I have it left. So, instead of logging into my LJ, since I can't from my desk, I opened a Notepad file, and might hammer down random thoughts as they strike me today, until I get out of here. I bet I cut-and-paste this at lunch, first, before I go home.
10:32 AM -
I talked to Carol, who is in charge when my boss isn't around. Of course, she says that in her 11 years here, this place has closed once. And, she says it with a smile, and a shake of her head, which just ticks me off even more. I'm so sick of the amusement people take in my worry or upset. The customers still call, the customers still whine. Though, she did say my boss would be in about 12:30, so I'm ready to ask/plead. And of course, Mom calls and says I should have stayed home. I know I had a sick day too many this year, and do not need to risk that.
11:15 AM -
A lull, for now. No one is really considering the idea that the building will close due to weather. At one point, I just said "I know that, you know that. Impress me. Tell the people who have the authority." But, I was met with silence, of course. But, I need to get out of here, for my own sanity's sake.
But, I keep trying to think of positive things to keep my mood afloat. One was an article I caught about comic books on one of the comic web sites this morning, before my shift. In the JLA (Justice LEague) comic book, there's a new team lineup after a recent huge storyline. The storyline itself was okay (as in, not 'knock my socks off unbelieveable') but they are adding one member to the team called Manitou Raven. It's a newly made character, but in the article the writer of the comic admitted that Manitou was a nod to Apache Chief, who used to be in all those cheesy-but-fun Superfriends cartoons in the 70s and 80s. And I'm smiling now. That's the coolest thing I've heard all week. Apache Chief (though I know they wouldn't call him that in the comics) was always my favorite. The character on the TV show and the one in the comics are different, though. They share some of the same ethnicity, and one power between them (Manitou is a mystic, I believe), but still, that's cool. Inukchuk. So /that's/ how it's spelled. Of course, This is going to be wierd, after seeing that Harvey Birdman episode with Apache Chief in it. Can't watch Superfriends without giggling. Just like I can't see anything with the Wonder Twins in it after the same Harvey Birdman ep, and a comic strip on Penny Arcade. Sheesh. We embrace our nostalgia and destroy it at the same time.
I think there are orders in the fax room that need to be marked and brought out for processing. And, I did it a few times earlier, but I have this feeling they're piling up, and no one is going back there for them. Mostly, I take the orders to the bins for anyone to grab, and end up getting frustrated and going to take the orders anyway. This bugs me, because I feel I have that much more weight on my shoulders.
11:47 AM -
Hey, if there's nothing out there to be done, then there's nothing much I can do, now is there? But, lucky me, there's a few new people who are on my side of the room, and any troubles they have with callers, they mostly bring to me. It's not bad, I think, because I used to do the same. But, I'd wait til others were off the phone, first. One of them, the new guy we have in our department, is cool, though. (Even if I'm not big on music by Phish, but there are some things that make me think, but I keep my distance for my own reasons.) Just once, I'd like to hear him say "Kyle, can you help me with this," and hear myself answer "I dunno. Is it worth a dinner in a nice restaraunt?" Well, I'm not blind, though I do believe he is not compatible, in the most basic sense. Frustrated? Duh, yes. I live in a world without curiousity, or change, or experimentation. It makes me feel retarded, still, on some mental and social levels which I hide my feelings about.
12:33 PM -
Well, we got news in the meantime. They're closing the building and sending everybody home at 2 O'clock. Ok, I feel much better. I don't know how long it will be til I get home, but it will be in (hopefully) daylight. Called the fam, and my Dad has to go into work. Didn't do any of the shovelling, so I get left with that much more.
Last night, I was online dealing with people, including some of the situation I mentioned in my last LJ post. I think I know how to handle, and I'm following my gut by saying it's a bad idea, all around, and 'No.' Though, I have this feeling it will start an arguement of 'But so-and-so said this, or 'But that's not what it looks like.' See, I wasn't having as much trouble finding a decent reason as much as I was wondering if I could keep my feelings in check. I'm resolving it tonight. My responsibility.
And, I was talking to someone last night, and talking about how rushed I was feeling. He suggested I get a drink, whatever I felt like having, even though he has a soft spot for sangria. Now, honestly? My parent's don't really drink, and I don't really think much about it to keep any booze stocked in the house. And, as I explained this, I found myself thinking 'God, I am so lame.' But...I'm not so sure it is, despite this friend's urging me to go and get some alcohol. I don't really think about it, and while I felt a drink would have felt really good at that point, it was odd. I mean, this was a want in a 'hey, that would be nice right about now' sort of way. As opposed to a need in the 'It must be mine!' sense, even if those are not quite the right words in my head thinking about it. It would have been nice, but I wasn't going to explode if I didn't have it. I have that much knowledge, I think, to differentiate between a wish and something necessary. Not that people who don't drink are wusses, not in the slightest. Everyone has their reasons, and that right to a conscious decision for themselves.
A few months back, I saw people on other LJs doing an 'Ask Me Anything' post. Where they invited viewers to ask them any question within acceptible taste limits, and they would get answered. I've been tempted to do the same thing, save for a couple of reasons.
Reason One: I'm leery of some of those questions.
Reason Two: I'm leery about speaking of some things publicly.
So, I'm going to modify it. You want to ask me something you've been wanting to ask, then do it. But, do it privately. Through page, e-mail, carrier pigeon, whatever. But I will be more than happy to answer in private.
I'm leaving this in bold type for a reason. I might write more before I leave here, and if I don't end the post with that, I want it to stand out.
1:15 PM -
I'm starting to realize that if I could have my LJ open at my desk, it would be a lot more packed with entries than it currently is. As per the time, I have 45 minutes left before I leave the building. Then there's cleaning off my car, warming it up, and praying to God I get home in one piece. I should be okay, as long as I stay focused. But, I'm going to close out the file now, and start packing up my stuff.