dewinged

This article appeared today on Cnn.com.

So, I went searching, and I discovered the existence of the Ig Nobel Prize. Where the Nobel Prize is for great achievements in the arts and sciences, the Ig Nobel is the...parody prize for the really bizarre stuff. Like how a group of scientists in Argentina discovered that the use of Viagra helps hamsters get over jet lag faster.

But the one that caught me from the Cnn.com article above was this: The U.S. Air Force won the Ig Nobel Peace Prize this year for its proposal to develop a "gay bomb" -- a chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers want to make love with each other, not war with the enemy.

I...just...

Now, I had to think about this. At first, I thought about posting my (admittedly warped, based on personal experience) beliefs of of what would happen if this 'gay bomb' were dropped on anyone. But, since I have a number of LGBT people who read this blog (including, oh, myself), it would cause...problems. Because I'm bitter. It would get potentially insulting.

So, instead I'm going to try and picture someone actually coming up with this idea.

Picture it if you will... A dimly lit room in the Pentagon, flourescents from above making patterns in the glasses of water at the hand of each military bigwig sitting at a circular table as the researcher shows a holo-display of the effects of this 'Gay Bomb' chemical agent he has developed.

The researcher regards the assembled officers under bushy white eyebrows as he adjusts the lab goggles perched on his forehead. All of his hours spent on research, discarding unworkable formulas, and hundreds of living test subjects, each turning out more fabulous than the last. It all comes down to this moment.

"Zee?" he asks, in his best Mad-Scientist accent. "Once zat ees done, we go to Phase Two, vhere ve vill turn ze Moon into ze giant Deesco Ball!"

The impassive faces around the table watch the researcher as his eyed widen, showing whites in the trium,ph of his research and the unveiling of his master plan.

"Und zen, ve commence wit Operation: Boogie Vonderland!"

I bet it happened just like that.