Quick note to Cathy.

Yep, hon, I still read your Blog.

Proof.

SimilarMinds.com Compatibility Test

Your match with epee you are 96% similar you are 96% complementary

How Compatible are You with me?

Break.

I look at my clock right now and wonder if I could acually manage 12 hours sleep without waking up in the middle of the night and not being tired and screwing up my internal clock for tomorrow.

I gamed last night, which was okay, and I gamed some today with some friends over AIM, but my heart wasn't in it. So, basically, I'm not going RPable tonight. I think I'd want to, but again, my heart isn't in it, if I have one at all.

A lot of what has been bugging me is that some major RP on a MU* is going to be dependent on one person, who recently took a vacation for some undetermined length of time. No idea when they're getting back, and I've been putting near everything on hold because of it. What annoys me is that I was having Fun. But, this seems to be a law with most places I play on: The people I need to be around aren't, and those that I don't want to be around tend to always be the ones...nah, I'll shut up. I got away from that when I left a MU* recently. Four years, and nothing to show for that.

I've been in a funk for days, and it's one of those that I'm having trouble shaking off again. See, there are things I wish would happen to shake it off, but no one pays attention to those. One of those 'that won't make you happy' deals. Heh. Maybe, just maybe, I know my own mind better than you do. Maybe I do know what would make me happy. No one ever thinks of that.

Ack.

And of course, I hit my return key at the wrong time.

Adding.

Also, I chipped a tooth last night at gaming. Just from chewing on a fingernail absently. This has happened before, so it means another trip to the dentist. And, since the last one I had got the job done but had the worst bedside manner I've ever seen, I'm looking around for someone else. Good thing my job's health plan has a website with a Doctor Finder tool. Easily done within 2 miles of my home.

But...I'm still tired. Of all of it. Of working, of gaming, of beign gay especially (Pride? I should take pride in something that has caused me nothing but pain for five years? Tell me why. better yet, have the balls and SHOW me.) I'm tired of being me. Being me is essentially pointless. Ever wonder what it's like when you have nothing at all to look forward to?

There's a part of me that wants to say what's on my mind, even if I am in a funk again. I do it to myself, I know. It happens. But, I keep wanting to tell people to just give me what I want. I have that, then I won't complain any more, I won't burden people with being around me. I'll shut up.

I promise...