(no subject)
May. 13th, 2004 02:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dewinged12:25 PM
Okay, because I really need a boost to my spirits right now, since I have no access to actual spirits (a.k.a. booze), I'm going to try this on my own, inspired from someone else, and do Abridged Reviews of my comics for this week.
..
Teen Titans #11
Brother Blood: Rar, rar I say! The Titans are gone, and I'll marry Raven!
Bart: Aren't you 13?
Blood: We're in South San Francisco?
Bart: Whatever.
--
Kory: Robin, wake up.
Tim: What hit me, you two?
Kory: Tim, my eyes are up here.
Slade: Guess who?
Rose: My Daddy rocks!
Kory (and fans): Rose? WTF?
Slade: She's my daughter, and I- (for the real story, Find that Teen Titans #1/2 issue!)
Me: Crap. :P
Tim: Woah!
Rose: Yep, I have precognitive powers, I can sometimes see you coming.
Fans: WOAH!
Titans: What? SHocked that Rose has powers?
Fans: No, shock that someone remembered!
Me: It's called continuity, boys. Get used to it.
Fans: Ooooooo.
Me: Repeat after me, "Geoff Johns is my hero."
Fans: "We want Grant Morrison to write the Legion!"
Me: *gunshots. LOTS of them*
Kory: Okay, Slade. We'll get you to Blood, and you can have Raven.
Tim: . o O (WTF?)
--
Cyborg: I kick ass!
Blood: I kick more ass!
Changeling: I'll save you Raven, and hey, nice look.
Raven: Thank you. Here's a breather and some exposition.
Blood: Rar! Found you!
Kory, Tim, Slade, Rose: Rar! Attack!
Rose, Slade: Let's kill Raven!
Kory: Scorch! No you don't.
Tim: . o O (WTF?)
Kory: I lied.
Tim: I like the way you two think.
Kory: Tim, my eyes are up here.
Tim: Oh, right. Sorry. Comes with the 'Robin' costume.
Blood: Raven, attack! *everyone gets sucked into soul-self*
Kory: We're inside Raven.
Mysterious someone: So am I.
Me: *maniacal cackling*
JLA #90-something, I forgot.
Crucifier: I am /Crucifier!/
Fans: We know.
Patrol: We're the Doom Patrol!
Fans: We know, so what happens?
Superman: *drool*
Batman: I hate magic.
J'onn: Here's the exposition.
Me: ???
J'onn: Don't look at me. John Byrne plotted this.
Me: Ah, right.
John Stewart: Why am I suddenly Green Lantern?
Me: The cartoon.
Stewart: Ah, right.
(Sorry. Had to say it. Pet peeve.)
Ultimate X-Men #45
Karma: Okay, while the X-Men angst, angst, angst, I'm going to show that I'm really SHIELD Black Ops and kick a lot of ass.
Me: Cool.
Supreme Power. The most recent issue, which I finally picked up.
Hyperion: I'm pissed.
General: I'm evil.
Hyperion: I'm really pissed.
General: I'm really evil.
Hyperion: I'm really really pissed.
General: Well, I'm really really evil, AND, I have a big fucking bomb.
SFX: *BOOM*
Hyperion: Was that supposed to hurt?
Me: *sitting in corner, clutching teddy and rocking back and forth* It's an alternate universe. it's not the real Squadron. It's an alternate Universe, it's not the real Squadron...
Green Arrow. I forgot the number.
Mia: I'm well enough to fight...despite getting my ass kicked all over Star by every villain in this book.
Ollie: Add me to that list. Hiyyyyy-ya!
Mia: Ow.
Ollie: Get her a mask.
Connor: *blinks* WTF?
Me: *blinks* WTF?
Avengers. Again, I frogot the number.
Avengers: This is the new Captain Britain, who can't reveal who she is to her kids who believe her to be dead, but everyone else seems to already know, and those who don't suspect, save for the kida who are apparently blind and deaf and living in Avengers Mansion for no discernable reason.
Captain Britain: I'm angry! Rarr! Angst angst angst!
Hawkeye: I missed. I must really be injured.
Wasp: I'll make it all better. *smooch*
Me: Uh...
Yellowjacket/Hank Pym/Whoever the sprock he is this week: Wait til I find out.
Me: Uh.
Captain America: Am I an ass?
Iron Man: Yes, but we like that.
Captain America: Why am I being such an ass?
Ultimate Cap: Because I'm more popular, being fanservice Cap for the masses! I kill, I steal, I kick people when they're down. I rock!
Captain America: But can you be in a book that comes out more than once every three months?
Ultimate Cap: *sulks, stalks off*
USAgent: I'm back!
Avengers: Ultimate Cap!?
USAgent: No, I'm USAgent! I'm putting the Invaders back together!
Fans: The who?
Me: Think JSA, just...not as cool. Sorry.
Fans: Ah, right.
Me: Speaking /of!/
JSA. Latest issue.
Me: *fanboyish glee* JSA! JSA!
Me: *stops* Okay, out of my system, now.
Spirit King: Rarr! I'm baaaaaccccckkkk!
Mr. Terrific: Okay, despite meeting angels, the spirit of vengance, the spirit of redemption, and seeing this in a Church, I'm still an athiest.
Mid-Nite: You know you keep thinking about this, Terrific, because you still miss your dead wife, and you'll have a sea change after this arc.
Terrific: In the meantime, let's go kick ass!
Power Girl: Yeah!
Wildcat: Hey, you tw-*uuuurrrkkk*
Power Girl: Don't even think it.
Wildcat: Yes, ma'am.
--
Star Spangled Kid: I'm still pissed you drove my boyfriend off, Flash.
Flash: I think you're a hero.
Star: What boyfriend?
--
Hal: The Presence forgives everyone. You, Pieter, he even forgives John.
Unknowing Fans: John?
Me: John Stewart.
Unknowing Fans: So?
Me: You know he blew up an entire planet full of innocents, right? Before the JLA took him?
Unknowing Fans: We didn't know that.
Me: Nor do most writers. It's why the Martian Manhunter hasn't beat the living shit out of John Stewart like he should have done ages ago.
Unknowing fans: We didn't know.
Me: This is why he's my hero.
Fans; Martian Manhunter?
Me: No, Geoff Johns. He Knows His Shit. Repeat after me..
Fans: "Grant Morrison should write the Legion!"
Me: *gets out his Hattori Hanzo sword*
Fans: Ow, ow, smite! Ow! Ow!
Me: *blind rage* You'll learn, one of these days.
--
Jay Garrick: Ugh, where am I
Spirit King: Hey, Jay, remember me?
Jay: Oh, Shit. Not ag-aaaaggghhh!
Me: Oh, wicked!
Fans: what did he mean, 'again?'
Me: Gah! It's called 'continuity!'
Fans; That word has too many letters.
Me: *cries*
--
Hal Jordan: I'm the Spectre!
Fans: Not for long.
Me: Okay, okay, you win...
--
That's it for this week. Enjoy. :)
Okay, because I really need a boost to my spirits right now, since I have no access to actual spirits (a.k.a. booze), I'm going to try this on my own, inspired from someone else, and do Abridged Reviews of my comics for this week.
..
Teen Titans #11
Brother Blood: Rar, rar I say! The Titans are gone, and I'll marry Raven!
Bart: Aren't you 13?
Blood: We're in South San Francisco?
Bart: Whatever.
--
Kory: Robin, wake up.
Tim: What hit me, you two?
Kory: Tim, my eyes are up here.
Slade: Guess who?
Rose: My Daddy rocks!
Kory (and fans): Rose? WTF?
Slade: She's my daughter, and I- (for the real story, Find that Teen Titans #1/2 issue!)
Me: Crap. :P
Tim: Woah!
Rose: Yep, I have precognitive powers, I can sometimes see you coming.
Fans: WOAH!
Titans: What? SHocked that Rose has powers?
Fans: No, shock that someone remembered!
Me: It's called continuity, boys. Get used to it.
Fans: Ooooooo.
Me: Repeat after me, "Geoff Johns is my hero."
Fans: "We want Grant Morrison to write the Legion!"
Me: *gunshots. LOTS of them*
Kory: Okay, Slade. We'll get you to Blood, and you can have Raven.
Tim: . o O (WTF?)
--
Cyborg: I kick ass!
Blood: I kick more ass!
Changeling: I'll save you Raven, and hey, nice look.
Raven: Thank you. Here's a breather and some exposition.
Blood: Rar! Found you!
Kory, Tim, Slade, Rose: Rar! Attack!
Rose, Slade: Let's kill Raven!
Kory: Scorch! No you don't.
Tim: . o O (WTF?)
Kory: I lied.
Tim: I like the way you two think.
Kory: Tim, my eyes are up here.
Tim: Oh, right. Sorry. Comes with the 'Robin' costume.
Blood: Raven, attack! *everyone gets sucked into soul-self*
Kory: We're inside Raven.
Mysterious someone: So am I.
Me: *maniacal cackling*
JLA #90-something, I forgot.
Crucifier: I am /Crucifier!/
Fans: We know.
Patrol: We're the Doom Patrol!
Fans: We know, so what happens?
Superman: *drool*
Batman: I hate magic.
J'onn: Here's the exposition.
Me: ???
J'onn: Don't look at me. John Byrne plotted this.
Me: Ah, right.
John Stewart: Why am I suddenly Green Lantern?
Me: The cartoon.
Stewart: Ah, right.
(Sorry. Had to say it. Pet peeve.)
Ultimate X-Men #45
Karma: Okay, while the X-Men angst, angst, angst, I'm going to show that I'm really SHIELD Black Ops and kick a lot of ass.
Me: Cool.
Supreme Power. The most recent issue, which I finally picked up.
Hyperion: I'm pissed.
General: I'm evil.
Hyperion: I'm really pissed.
General: I'm really evil.
Hyperion: I'm really really pissed.
General: Well, I'm really really evil, AND, I have a big fucking bomb.
SFX: *BOOM*
Hyperion: Was that supposed to hurt?
Me: *sitting in corner, clutching teddy and rocking back and forth* It's an alternate universe. it's not the real Squadron. It's an alternate Universe, it's not the real Squadron...
Green Arrow. I forgot the number.
Mia: I'm well enough to fight...despite getting my ass kicked all over Star by every villain in this book.
Ollie: Add me to that list. Hiyyyyy-ya!
Mia: Ow.
Ollie: Get her a mask.
Connor: *blinks* WTF?
Me: *blinks* WTF?
Avengers. Again, I frogot the number.
Avengers: This is the new Captain Britain, who can't reveal who she is to her kids who believe her to be dead, but everyone else seems to already know, and those who don't suspect, save for the kida who are apparently blind and deaf and living in Avengers Mansion for no discernable reason.
Captain Britain: I'm angry! Rarr! Angst angst angst!
Hawkeye: I missed. I must really be injured.
Wasp: I'll make it all better. *smooch*
Me: Uh...
Yellowjacket/Hank Pym/Whoever the sprock he is this week: Wait til I find out.
Me: Uh.
Captain America: Am I an ass?
Iron Man: Yes, but we like that.
Captain America: Why am I being such an ass?
Ultimate Cap: Because I'm more popular, being fanservice Cap for the masses! I kill, I steal, I kick people when they're down. I rock!
Captain America: But can you be in a book that comes out more than once every three months?
Ultimate Cap: *sulks, stalks off*
USAgent: I'm back!
Avengers: Ultimate Cap!?
USAgent: No, I'm USAgent! I'm putting the Invaders back together!
Fans: The who?
Me: Think JSA, just...not as cool. Sorry.
Fans: Ah, right.
Me: Speaking /of!/
JSA. Latest issue.
Me: *fanboyish glee* JSA! JSA!
Me: *stops* Okay, out of my system, now.
Spirit King: Rarr! I'm baaaaaccccckkkk!
Mr. Terrific: Okay, despite meeting angels, the spirit of vengance, the spirit of redemption, and seeing this in a Church, I'm still an athiest.
Mid-Nite: You know you keep thinking about this, Terrific, because you still miss your dead wife, and you'll have a sea change after this arc.
Terrific: In the meantime, let's go kick ass!
Power Girl: Yeah!
Wildcat: Hey, you tw-*uuuurrrkkk*
Power Girl: Don't even think it.
Wildcat: Yes, ma'am.
--
Star Spangled Kid: I'm still pissed you drove my boyfriend off, Flash.
Flash: I think you're a hero.
Star: What boyfriend?
--
Hal: The Presence forgives everyone. You, Pieter, he even forgives John.
Unknowing Fans: John?
Me: John Stewart.
Unknowing Fans: So?
Me: You know he blew up an entire planet full of innocents, right? Before the JLA took him?
Unknowing Fans: We didn't know that.
Me: Nor do most writers. It's why the Martian Manhunter hasn't beat the living shit out of John Stewart like he should have done ages ago.
Unknowing fans: We didn't know.
Me: This is why he's my hero.
Fans; Martian Manhunter?
Me: No, Geoff Johns. He Knows His Shit. Repeat after me..
Fans: "Grant Morrison should write the Legion!"
Me: *gets out his Hattori Hanzo sword*
Fans: Ow, ow, smite! Ow! Ow!
Me: *blind rage* You'll learn, one of these days.
--
Jay Garrick: Ugh, where am I
Spirit King: Hey, Jay, remember me?
Jay: Oh, Shit. Not ag-aaaaggghhh!
Me: Oh, wicked!
Fans: what did he mean, 'again?'
Me: Gah! It's called 'continuity!'
Fans; That word has too many letters.
Me: *cries*
--
Hal Jordan: I'm the Spectre!
Fans: Not for long.
Me: Okay, okay, you win...
--
That's it for this week. Enjoy. :)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 11:19 am (UTC)*snicker*
I need to pick up my comics.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 11:48 am (UTC)And I like the Doom Patrol. These guys ain't them, though.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 12:17 pm (UTC)Say, you know, maybe Grant Morrison should be writing Legion? No? How about Robbie Morrison? Van Morrison? "It's a marvelous night to save the universe..."
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 02:59 pm (UTC)Perfect fan response! ^_^ I'm still perplexed about that entire thing...
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 04:02 pm (UTC)I have faith. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 04:09 pm (UTC)Ask moose_man. He has the 1/2 issue.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 07:29 pm (UTC)Me: Gah! It's called 'continuity!'
Fans; That word has too many letters.
Too true, too true....
no subject
Date: 2004-05-16 06:44 pm (UTC)Tim: Oh, right. Sorry. Comes with the 'Robin' costume.
--------------------
I spent a good portion of the evening giggling over this. And I really needed the giggle this evening. :-)