Force Play
Aug. 4th, 2002 09:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dewingedThere's a part of my mind that says I had to do it.
See, out of sheer frustration, I called Mike today. Haven't heard from him since the concert, and I wanted to vent bad. So, I was straight up with him. I wanted to eb social, I wanted to go out, I wanted to have fun.
And, I wanted to go to the Coliseum. Local gay club.
And so I said that. But he said neither he nor his wife would go there. They'd go to another (read: straight) club, but I said flat-out that I wouldn't have any fun. I wouldn't meet anyone, it'd be all couples and me, and I'd just end up miserable.
And so I talked to him. I asked him how many times I let him drag me out to the clubs, where his friends were obnoxious and I was bored to death. I wasn't comfortable at those places, and when he asked me why I didn't say anything, I told him the truth. I did. He just ignored it.
And so I told him: I was always there to support you. I'm asking for the same thing in return.
So, at this point he's saying 'I'll think about it.'
And, you know, I feel guilty. I mean, it hurts me that I can't have people just there for support, like what friends are supposed to do. But I had to shame him into this. I had to play most of the cards I had to get even this simple thing.
I know what will happen: He'll forget about it. When Saturday (And I'm free that day) comes around, he won't call opr bring it up. That, or what selfish shrew of a wife of his will complain til we do something else. If it comes to that, I will tell her what I've been wanting to say to her for a long time. "This isn't about You!" She's had it coming, and I want this to happen this weekend. I Need This.
Although, I have had some decent things. Bookf from Amazon for my birthday came: One of which is the first Exiles TPB. Suddenly, one of the chars I RP with makes a lot more sense. Downloaded a few tunes, and I'm listening to one I've been looking for for a month right now. The song below, it so rocks.
Nothing about the car yet. And...eh. Still want, still need, still wish things were different.
See, out of sheer frustration, I called Mike today. Haven't heard from him since the concert, and I wanted to vent bad. So, I was straight up with him. I wanted to eb social, I wanted to go out, I wanted to have fun.
And, I wanted to go to the Coliseum. Local gay club.
And so I said that. But he said neither he nor his wife would go there. They'd go to another (read: straight) club, but I said flat-out that I wouldn't have any fun. I wouldn't meet anyone, it'd be all couples and me, and I'd just end up miserable.
And so I talked to him. I asked him how many times I let him drag me out to the clubs, where his friends were obnoxious and I was bored to death. I wasn't comfortable at those places, and when he asked me why I didn't say anything, I told him the truth. I did. He just ignored it.
And so I told him: I was always there to support you. I'm asking for the same thing in return.
So, at this point he's saying 'I'll think about it.'
And, you know, I feel guilty. I mean, it hurts me that I can't have people just there for support, like what friends are supposed to do. But I had to shame him into this. I had to play most of the cards I had to get even this simple thing.
I know what will happen: He'll forget about it. When Saturday (And I'm free that day) comes around, he won't call opr bring it up. That, or what selfish shrew of a wife of his will complain til we do something else. If it comes to that, I will tell her what I've been wanting to say to her for a long time. "This isn't about You!" She's had it coming, and I want this to happen this weekend. I Need This.
Although, I have had some decent things. Bookf from Amazon for my birthday came: One of which is the first Exiles TPB. Suddenly, one of the chars I RP with makes a lot more sense. Downloaded a few tunes, and I'm listening to one I've been looking for for a month right now. The song below, it so rocks.
Nothing about the car yet. And...eh. Still want, still need, still wish things were different.