No, it's not difficult.
Jan. 29th, 2002 08:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dewingedOk, want me to sum it up? See the cute little Fox icon at the end of this post? There! See? One word sums it all up for me.
I'm lonely. Apparently, I'm supposed to LIKE it. I'm supposed to be HAPPY about it. Well, guess what? I'm not happy about it. When something is ripping you apart from the inside out, it gets decidedly difficult to be happy about it.
But, as I've been told Oh, so many times, apparently it's WRONG to want someone or any sort of contact in my life. I'm supposed to "Not think about it," and "not let it get me upset."
Welll, guess what, kiddies, it doesn't work that way. The above suggestions? Yeah, we like to call that "Denial," because that's what people want me to do. They want me to deny that being lonely gets me upset. I think that's obscene.
See, I was raised in a certain way: If you see someone hurting, you HELP them. There is no right, there is no wrong. There is someone hurting, and helping them to Not Hurt.
You'd be surprised how much of the world seems to not understand this little act. Small things borne of compassion help people. Hell, the life you save may be my own.
I want to stop hurting.
I don't want to deny that I have a body and a soul.
I need it to stop before it destroys me entirely.
I'm lonely. Apparently, I'm supposed to LIKE it. I'm supposed to be HAPPY about it. Well, guess what? I'm not happy about it. When something is ripping you apart from the inside out, it gets decidedly difficult to be happy about it.
But, as I've been told Oh, so many times, apparently it's WRONG to want someone or any sort of contact in my life. I'm supposed to "Not think about it," and "not let it get me upset."
Welll, guess what, kiddies, it doesn't work that way. The above suggestions? Yeah, we like to call that "Denial," because that's what people want me to do. They want me to deny that being lonely gets me upset. I think that's obscene.
See, I was raised in a certain way: If you see someone hurting, you HELP them. There is no right, there is no wrong. There is someone hurting, and helping them to Not Hurt.
You'd be surprised how much of the world seems to not understand this little act. Small things borne of compassion help people. Hell, the life you save may be my own.
I want to stop hurting.
I don't want to deny that I have a body and a soul.
I need it to stop before it destroys me entirely.
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Not how I would put it
Date: 2002-01-29 06:47 pm (UTC)I don't know what else to say.
Re: Not how I would put it
Date: 2002-01-30 10:35 am (UTC)Perhaps it's resignation. Perhaps not. I do know it's bearable, even in the deepest darks of the night.
You're not as alone as you think, not as long as you have good friends. That's still part of my dealing, I'm convinced. You may not have someone else in the bed at night, but you're not alone.