Ego: Good or not?

[dewinged]

Someone once said something that caught me: The most attractive a person things they are, the less attractive they actually are.

This throws me. I'll explain.

I have The Party tonight. 10 PM, a night of gaming and food and no alcohol. Not what I want out of a party, but I know I need to get out, and the person throwing the party for themselves (tacky, much?) is inviting other friends outside the gaming group. Maybe someone, maybe not.

But...well. See, I went shopping yesterday, and in the midst of finding out I lost 2 inches off my waist from dieting, I got a few things out of Eddie Bauer.

And...I wonder how it reflects on me. Because, if I'm in nice clothes, and I'm all cleaned up and shaved and groomed, with my contact lenses in...I think I look pretty damn good. Now you guys know how I usually see myself. But...I do look nice, when I put the effort into it.

But, I see that statement I talked about at the top of this post, and I wonder...

Comments

[foomf.livejournal.com]

There is a difference beween vanity and honest self-assessment.
You have a great deal of Catholic Guilt. Speaking as an Episcopalian, where we have all the ritual but only half the guilt, I can say with confidence that you have been hypersensitized to vanity.
It's OK to recognize that you can look good. It's OK to dress with the intention of enhancing those looks - despite the character I play, I do not follow the Amish value system that says that 'plain is better' - if God had such a preference, we would not see peacocks, robins, flowers would not be so extravagant... there is as much vanity in self-revulsion as in narcissism.
So, as long as you don't decide that someone is unworthy of you because of your gorgeousness, I'd say you have nothing to worry about.

[kingstreetsouth.livejournal.com]

I think it comes down to how you perceive yourself and how you think other people perceive you. And since attractiveness is a relative term, I think you can only make conclusions based on self-esteem (perhaps, the basis of one's perception of attractiveness, both in oneself and others?). If one has a healthy sense of self-esteem, attractiveness would rank very low in their priorities. The people most of us may define as 'attractive', ie. those think they are attractive, and consider it a priority that everyone else knows this as well, I would think would possess some self-esteem issues.

I would rather not make value judgements on how what I have said may impact on your current situation, but I hope in the end you see yourself as I see you: someone who is wholly deserving of everything life has to offer.

And for your question of whether Ego is good or bad, my belief is that it is both (and I may be borrowing from Evangelion in the following lines.) It can protect you from slights the world deals in the every-day as well as make you vulnerable to your own misgivings. Perhaps Ego cannot be quantified in terms of having more or less of it, but maybe it comes down to how our awareness of its role in our behaviour, and how much of a role we allow it to play in our lives.